Change is hard, you have probably noticed that haven’t you?
We all want to become better people – better workers, better friends and better in relationships. But even when we get really inspired to become a better person, we only manage to change your behaviour for a short amount of time before the old behaviours starts to come back all over again. Most find that, rather than performing a new habit with ease, they will still be in the same position next year as they are now.
Why is that? It’s because you have not assumed a new identity.
My best friend was in year 4 when she decided on an identity that remains with her today. Not understanding a word in one of her classes (one in which her arch enemy excelled), she decided to take up elocution and ended up winning 8 years in a row. Hand in hand with her progress in elocution she began to score good grades and eventually became a straight ‘A’ student. That new identity has remained with her until now, and she still has that learned ability to be a high achiever in everything that she does.
The interior of behaviour change and building better habits is your ‘identity’. Each action you perform is driven by the fundamental belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.
The reason why it’s so hard to stick to new habits is that we often try to achieve a performance or appearance–based goal without changing our identity. Most of the time we try to achieve results before proving to ourselves that we have the identity of the type of person we want to become. It should be the other way around.
You need to decide who you want to be, then literally do everything in your power to eat, breathe & sleep with this identity.